Lesbian Confessions – Where love is illegal – Stephannie – Germany

Tears for years, but with a happy ending. You also, must be grateful for your beautiful supportive family.

stephanie-germany-where-love-is-illegal
“I grow up in a German village during the 80s. At age 5, I was able to formulate my wish to be born with a female body. But no: Everyday I woke up in the same boyish body. At school kids recognized me as different and my role as wimp was cemented. With 13 I read a magazine article about trans-sexuality. The author stated these people are not crazy. I felt relieved. At least I was not crazy, just different.

One day alone at home I put on female clothing in the dark. I was 15. My sister appeared earlier than usual. She didn’t recognized my clothing but then she was shocked. Later my brother arrived and found my sister crying. He talked to her and he hasted to my room. He comforted me and tried to be my protective big brother. We were unable to cope this situation. The silent agreement was not to tell my parents about my situation.

the-danish-girl

Years later I started studying in another town but I was still in the closet. I banned my other me with a contract:
“First finish studying, then life”. Further 4 years in the closet, only. But no: I was asked by my professor to sign in for doctoral studies following my diploma. I was unable to say no to this honor, everyone expected it. Two years I was trying to do my doctoral studies, but my other me hasn’t forgotten the broken contract and a solid depression of denying me for 21 years hit me like a bullet. Tears for years. After beginning to visit a psychiatrist I came out
stepwise. Some friends I lost but the majority supported me. During my leisure time I began to go out dressed like a woman. Harassments started but I stood up for being me. Later, I was 27, I called my mom and told her. She was puzzled.
Full of sorrows she asked me about dad. I insisted she should tell him. Later my dad called me. He was worried about his youngest child and listened to me for more than half an hour while I was explaining him my life between the lines.
In deep compassion he asked about my siblings. He felt relieved that I wasn’t totally alone because they knew it for so long and simply said: “I wish that you become happy”. I burst out into tears of happiness.

eddie-redmayne-the-danish-girl-poster-003

Later I gave up my doctoral studies. I felt too vulnerable to wear female clothing at university. I started searching for a job. The job interview I visited dressed as woman. The company boss gave it a try and now I am working in the field I studied dressed as woman. The next years I struggled with my identity despite my full coming out. The doubts and bigot burden romped around my head and hindered me to go further steps of transformation. Finally in April 2016 I started with hormones but I still don’t know what to expect.”

Source : http://whereloveisillegal.com/stephanie/

I took the example of the Danish Girl movie, because it’s an amazing transgender story, related to the topic.

Also, below you may find the image of Marcela-Ohio-miss universe transsexual representing Brasil, a beautiful lady and a great example for the community.

marcela-ohio-miss-universe-transexual-representing-brasil

and Kim Petras Germany’s teen pop idol :

Published by inkmarksonemptydreams

I am a mark of conscience upon the sands of time/ I am an ink mark on life's full pages/ I am unt o urma de constiinta pe nisipurile timpului / I am a mark of the soul in love's paradise / I am a mark of God in search for my androgynous. Write me : inkmarksonemptydreams@gmail.com Sunt o urma de constiinta pe nisipurile timpului/ Sunt o urma de cerneala pe paginile pline ale vietii/ Sunt o amprenta de suflet in paradisul iubirii/ Sunt o farama din Dumnezeu ce-si cauta androginul. scrie-mi inkmarksonemptydreams@gmail.com or inkmarksonemptydreams@yahoo.com

4 thoughts on “Lesbian Confessions – Where love is illegal – Stephannie – Germany

  1. Hi
    I am this Stephanie.
    I was randomly scrolling the internet and found my report here.

    Thank you for Sharing my story and supporting “where love is illiegal” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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