Ink marks on empty dreams

I am a footstep on the sands of time, I am an ink mark on an empty paper, without stanzas, without rhymes


Whispers of the soul

Untouchable by Brenda Adcock

Before I ever acknowledged the truth of my feelings or even understand what I was really feeling, the first image that went through my mind and my heart, whenever I thought of two women in love, was the love between a poetess and a sculptress. I really can’t explain why, it was just my innocent instinct.

„Untouchable” by Brenda Adcock landed in my hands „innocently”, because I had no idea of the subject it speaks about, yet after I read a small synopsis I thought it was a good idea to read it. I wasn’t fascinated, I was just interested, as the love between an English literature professor and an art student soon to become a sculptress, was excited and I expected a sweet romance, but „Untouchable” is both a poem and a sculpture, I loved every bit of it and I felt a part of it, not just a reader, and that’s exactly how a good book should make a reader feel like.

The story starts with Ramie Sunderlund, an art student, soon to become a sculptress, who needs more credits to complete her semester and one of her professors lead her to take the English Literature course. Her student roommates and other colleagues scare her off that the English Literature professor Dr. Rothenberg is a scarecrow and that she will never pass the exam. Ramie needs this credits and she wants to go through this semester and end her sculpture portofolio.

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Ramie goes on a weekend escapade with her roommate Leslie and other students and she gets lost and on a deserted cabin in the mountains she happens to adult women embracing and kissing and she never stops dreaming of them nor of scary professor Rothenberg, until the first class with professor Emma Rothenberg, when she realizes she is one of the women she saw kissing back there in the mountain cabin’s edge.

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She felt closer to the professor and she slowly acknowledge her love for women and her attraction to Emma, professor Rothenberg, from the moment she first saw the tall woman with tanned skin and soft, short, cinnamon windblown hair and wire-rimmed glasses, especially when Emma asked to see the sculptress’s hands, that reminded her of her first lover, Frances, yet Ramie didn’t know that. And Ramie soon finds herself head over heels in love wiht the professor that never looses her rope upon her courses, yet she has a love affair with the dean’s wife. Ramie is in love with dr. Emma Rothenberg, the English literature professor, with Emma the tennis player and with Emma, the woman twice her age, that has a lesbian love affair with her boss’s wife, Millie Carver.

Dr. Emma Rothenberg is a well known scholar at the University for she’s been an English Literature professor for so many years back now. She won’t risk her career for nobody’s love, she is satisfied of having an affair with the dean’s wife, whom will never leave her husband for her, yet somewhere in the corner of her eye is Frances, the very first woman she has ever loved and the one who she has never fought for, for Frances has always wanted a family, a child, that Emma could never offer her. This art student, Ramie Sunderlund, reminded her so much of Fran, with her free spirit and her clay calloused hands that she had to touch and know who they felt like for only one moment.

a perfect ending lesbian love

I loved how Brenda Adcock entwined the two women’s feelings and lives and how everything is a big surprise. I expect Ramie and Emma to fall in love and start a love affair from the moment they are attracted to each other, yet they don’t and that’s even more exciting.

chloe julianne moore 1

Ramie wants to finish her portofolio and her piece of resistance will be „Untouchable” her secret sculpture of Emma who she was so much attracted to , yet she could never know. One evening Ramie works late at her sculpture, but Emma’s assistant, who’s advances Ramie refused as she didn’t want to pass Emma’s class like that, wanted revenge for being refused and he cowardly attacked Ramie and hurt her hands and her being as well as he destroyed her sculptures.

a perfect ending lesbian younger and older

Ramie had to give up her year and the years to come, yet Emma was by her side at the hospital, until her parents came from Virginia. Emma encouraged Ramie that she would sculpt again and Ramie believed her and she went back home and recovered after her injuries.

I think Emma should have known her assistant was capable of such a bad deed, for she saw an altercation between Ramie and her assistant before and she should search for Ramie earlier, yet maybe that’s the way the author wanted the story to flow.

Ten years after, Ramie is offered a guest lecturer job by Sylvie from the Art University. Ramie is a fine sculptress now and she has also well recovered from her injuries, yet she has never forgotten about Emma Rothenberg, and this was her chance to check her inner feelings and if they have changed about Emma. She has also finished her recovery work sculpture „Untouchable” which was a remake from her former sculpture that was destroyed by Emma’s assistant. And so, Ramie and Emma see each other again, unexpectedly, I loved how Ramie sees her and at the art exhibition asks Emma if she likes her sculpture „Untouchable” without knowing it was herself. Their attraction has not vanished in a decade and I find this amazing, a beautiful idea to make the novel more interesting.

chloe julianne moore

I also, loved Emma and Ramie’s first kiss, in Emma’s home bedroom at the party Emma is hosting and how Emma gives up to her attraction to Ramie and how Ramie wants Emma. And Emma is tormented by their age difference and her reputation at the University and how she feels guilty about Ramie’s attack by her assistant and how she could do more. Emma is still amazed by the fact that Ramie, even more attractive after a decade, with her blonde curls, blue eyes and slender body seems to be interested in her and how attractive Ramie is. I enjoyed so much the first night they sleep together, their second kiss, so passionate and wild and how Emma forgets about Millie Carver and how much she wants and needs Ramie in her life.

a perfect ending love lesbian

Easily, their lives fit into one another and the love that blossoms between them cannot be scatter by Sylvie, Millie nor Emma’s assistant who wants to ruin Emma and Ramie’s new found paradise. Their lovemaking, their closeness and their relating to each other is wat attracts to this novel.

carol rooney-mara-cate-blanchett

The turning point is the moment when Emma meets Frances again, when Fran’s husband becomes a professor at Emma’s University. Yet, by then, Emma know whom she wants, mainly the blonde curled beauty with azure deep blue eyes and a huge sculpture talent that is Ramie.

I loved how the Emma’s sculpture plays such a memorable role in their lives.

lesbian lovers kiss

I loved how the two characters have been built, especially Ramie and parts of Emma, as I said before, in the first part the perfect Emma should have cared more for Ramie and after she saw the issue withe her assistant she should have payed more attention and more care to Ramie and even try to see her back home, in Virginia, after she was injured and during her ten years recovery.


Still, „Untouchable” by Brenda Adcock, remains one of the best lesbian romances I have ever read.


Touchwood by Karin Kallmaker

It’s been a long time since I have read a book written by Karin Kallmaker (last one was “Love by the numbers” which also, was a beautiful read), I have almost forgotten how her writing “feels” like and how the characters she creates come to life and amaze souls in a different way than any other writer does.
When you start reading, you get distracted by the characters and especially by Rayann’s despair after her break-up with her girlfriend, Michelle, whom has cheated on her and Rayann found out that they were having sex in her bed and her sheets, yet she reminds herself that she left a beautiful career to become sort of a lesbian housewife, entertained by Michelle, Rayann is a wood carver.

loving annabelle
Rayann and her mother, Ann Germaine had a difficult relationshipespecially since her father died, her mother tried to push forward her dreams through Rayann and wanted her to become a commercial graphician, yet after she met Michelle, Rayann and her mother have lost all hope as Rayann gave up her dreams. And now, she lost everything, her love, Michelle, her dreams, and she just wanted to get away from Michelle and didn’t wanted to go home to her mother’s house. She travelled by tram and train until she found a shelter for women and none could really help but one woman whom wanted nothing and none, but to pay some dues from her youth when she wasn’t able to fight for the women’s rights, pains or lesbianism for the sake of her son, Teddy, so that she could hold onto him and never lose him nor his love and attachment, not even for Christina, her love, that was Louisa.
Louisa’s love was gone now, along with Christina dead and Teddy having afamily, she only had her bookstore and her friend Danny, hiding her own self from her son and from the world, no lesbian book had any place in her bookstore, but some old Renee Vivien poetry hidden somewhere back the shelves.

bloomingtn lesbian
Rayann took the challenge and agreed to work in Louisa’s bookstore in order to pay for the rent and food, yet she has never expected herself to fall in love with Louise, a woman twice her age, who could actually be her mother. Louisa amazed her in a way none else ever did : her silence, her knowing glance, her hands – Louisa’s hands were her wildest dream, everything about Louisa bewildered her and attracted her even more, evermore, her dark eyes, her beautiful body, her skin, her dark hair with gray strands and combs, she became infatuated and so life goes on until one beautiful night when Louisa made real love to Rayann, the sensation and the reality of it never left her, yet Louisa never wanted to influence Rayann’s life, not being able to take her own decisions for loving a woman half her age. So, Rayann, unexperienced and left, somewhow, in the air, filled her spare time with Zoraida, a beautiful latin lover lesbian butch, yet she was not Louisa.

2003 MTV Video Music Awards - Show

I loved the way this novel was set, as we see the action through Rayann’s eyes, loving an elder woman to the edges of fading like a rare flower into an unknown land from nowhere, calling a love that would last into her heart forever.
I have to confess that, I was in love with Louisa, and I wished I could find her sight of the story, the way her heart skipped a beat whenever Rayann was around, what she had found in Rayann, why did she let Rayann go off with Zoraida, I wanted to know so much more about Louisa, yet I was pleased in imaging it by myself, which was more fun and even more inspiring, maybe it was a writer’s trick.
Those moments when Louisa had treated Rayann as a child, as a friend, anything else but her lover, were most entertaining, as the reader knew it was the way Louisa’s experience with her son knew best, knew more of youth, yet knew nothing of Rayann’s love and addiction, nothing like her son’s, Teddy’s, but everything her heart wanted to hear and fell, and that her mind sent away.


I loved how Rayann grew up, evolved by leaving Zoraida and she knew that none would ever love her as Louisa would. And after some time and even more struggling to keep away her lust and passion for Luisa, giving into work and her passion for commercial marketing, she set herself somehow on the second place. And when she could not take it anymore and confessed to Louisa she believed she and Danny were lovers and died of jealousy, she could see the struggle that went through Louisa, not wanting to lose Rayann’s love, and not wanting to lose her son’s love, as Danny told Rayann, just made it all clear now and Rayyan knew she was desperately and deeply in love with Louisa.
Rayann’s relationship with her mother improved somehow as Ann met Louisa nad found her amazing, and Rayann met Jim her mother’s fiancée, yet when her mother found out Louisa was her lover, her daughter’s lover, that was her age, was the turning point, yet Louisa was on the edge of her wisdom and found a way to settle things down, yet she had to tell Teddy just how much she loved Rayann and how many decades she has been hiding her lesbian love for Christina and now, she wanted all transparent for Rayann.

carol lesbian lover young and older

And she does it, all right, yet it takes some time for her son to swallow the deep gulp, yet he will and they will be a big happy family at Ann Germaine and Jim’s wedding in Greece.
I loved Louisa’s story : she hid her lesbian desires and her love for Christina, just for Teddy’s sake, her son’s love valued gold in times when in America being lesbian was a drill, 50’s and 60’s when she didn’t dare to take action , but maybe getting arrested for some lesbian thoughts, yet nothing of lesbian liberalism, afraid that the social services could take Teddy away from her.

Now, she sees through Teddy and Rayann, nothing alike but their age, yet her son was still a boy needing his mother, while Rayann was a young woman, much more adult than her age showed, who loved her and believed in her love and their freedom to love each other forever.
And so, they did. I loved this novel so much, one of the few lesbian novels about a younger and an older woman who deeply fall in love with each other, despite their age difference, their experience and their love for baseball.

Louisa’s strength, her sensitiveness and her sweetness conquered my senses and made me want her just as much as Rayann must have wanted her, adored her, loved her.
I am in awe, no quotes, thank you, Karin Kallmaker.

Carmilla – The movie – release date 26 th of October 2017

I expected the modern Carmilla movie and won’t spoil the surprise which I am sure will be dark, lesbian and comic as the trailer suggests.

carmilla-movie 2017

Enjoy Carmilla and Laura all along with the rest of the girls : S. La Fontaine, Lolla Perry, Lilita Morgan and a new character which comes as a surprise and we don’t know who she really is , but see a certain note of jealousy between Laura and Carmilla from ancient times, altogether with a detective story of modern times and , and, of course, the music : It has been five years since Laura and Carmilla vanquished the apocalypse and Carmilla became a bonafide mortal human. They have settled in to a cozy apartment in downtown Toronto; Laura continues to hone her journalism skills while Carmilla adjusts to a non-vampire lifestyle. Their domestic bliss is suddenly ruptured when Carmilla begins to show signs of “re-vamping” – from a fondness for bloody treats to accidental biting – while Laura has started having bizarre, ghostly dreams. The couple must now enlist their old friends from Silas University to uncover the unknown supernatural threat and save humanity – including Carmilla’s..


Carmilla is a Canadian web series co-created by Jordan Hall, starring Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis, loosely based on the novella of the same name by Sheridan LeFanu, basically it is a modern vampire story which steals from the original Carmilla her family name, Karnstein, and her fame as the first known (lesbian) vampire of the 17 th century quite before Dracula and casting a magic spell swirling darkness, selfish love and bloodsucking.

carmilla fanart

The series premiered on the Vervegirl (rebranded as Kinda TV as of January 2016) youtube channel on August 19, 2014.

The series takes place at the fictional Silas University in Styria, Austria and is told through video journals (Vlogs) recorded by Laura, a first-year student. When Laura begins investigating the disappearance of her roommate, she is assigned a new roommate named Carmilla.

carmilla and laura carmilla the movie

As of August 2017, Carmilla has generated over 69 million views on YouTube

Laura Hollis (played by Elise Bauman) is the 19-year-old sheltered and courageous protagonist. She is a journalism major and grew up with an over-protective father who goes to great measures to protect his only child. Despite her love of sugary foods, Laura is tiny, and, as a child, was signed up for Krav Maga classes by her father so she could learn how to defend herself. Though she is somewhat bookish and dorky, she is adorable and fiercely loyal to her friends. Laura enjoys various forms of pop culture, includingHarry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Doctor Who, and is deeply inspired by historical strong female icons. Laura does not hide her initial dislike towards Carmilla, but as the series progresses and after discovering who Carmilla truly is, she finds herself falling in love with her and is eventually in a relationship with her by season 2. They break up during that same season, and during season 3 they are working towards getting back together. It is implied that Laura does not have a mother, and if her family correlates with her character’s family in the original novella, Laura’s mother died when she was young. Little is known of her past and of Laura herself other than basic facts discovered in season 1, and the fact she is out of the closet as a lesbian, revealed in season 3.

carmilla laura smooch

Carmilla Karnstein (played by Natasha Negovanlis) is Laura’s new roommate. Born in Styria in 1680 as Mircalla Karnstein, the daughter of a Count, Carmilla was murdered at a ball and resurrected as a vampire, eternally aging her at 18. She is the “adopted” daughter of the Dean of Silas University, Lilita Morgan (also a vampire) who forces Carmilla to bring her girls to offer as a sacrifice to the angler fish god in her cult. During the 1800s, Carmilla fell deeply in love with Ell, one of her mother’s targets. She tried to protect Ell from her mother, but when her mother revealed to Ell that Carmilla is a vampire, Ell rejected Carmilla. Carmilla was tortured and buried underground for several decades in a coffin of blood for disobeying her mother. She was freed during the Second World War by a bomb exploding and unearthing her coffin. Carmilla was eventually found by her mother and forced back into her enslavement of luring girls. She was brought to Silas University and eventually becomes roommates with Laura Hollis, one of her mother’s next targets. However, Carmilla becomes passionately drawn to Laura and vows not to let her mother harm her. By the end of season one and entering the second season, it is clear that she is in a relationship with Laura, that falls apart during that same season. In season 3, the couple is working on rebuilding their trust. Carmilla is a strong willed, sarcastic, philosophy student who consistently fails to clean up after herself and often uses Laura’s possessions without permission. She possesses supernatural strength and speed, and can transform into a giant black cat.

carmilla tied up by laura

Sources :


Kinda Tv YouTube Channel

carmilla the movie



Thelma 2017 – the supernatural lesbian film by Joachim Trier

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Thelma (Eili Harboe) moves to Oslo as a young Norwegian student and she starts falling in love with her beautiful colleague Anja (Okay Kaya) when she discovers her strange supernatural powers and the sensations that provokes them and their relation with nature.

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If it lies in her childhood, why did they come to surface only now or how will Thelma control them and how her love for Anja will get through everything? I am guessing we will find out on September 15 th, 2017 when the movie will be released on Norway.

thelma fluctuant

A fantastic horror-thriller with glimpses of a lesbian romance.


thelma 3

Other cast members :

Ellen Dorrit Petersen Unni
Henrik Rafaelsen Trond
Stian Werme Classmate
Jonas Jörgensen Epilepsi Patient
Anders Mossling Dr. Paulsson
Vanessa Borgli Vilde, Anja’s mother

through glass spikes


Joachim Trier


Joachim Trier (co-writer), Eskil Vogt (co-writer)


Watch the trailer

Liberty’s Secret (2016) – a musical lesbian movie


A funny musical satire which has two deep themes : mud of politics and how a young and innocent woman can be dragged into it and lesbian love in the middle of the political mood with a very possible happy ending!


liberty and nikki

Liberty Smith (Jaclene Wilk) is the young and innocent daughter of a preacher with a magnificent voice and she looks and sounds as the perfect energizer for the conservative presidential campaign.


Even her name is double edged for she is Liberty in politics and the liberty goes on in everything that happens, especially when Liberty meets Washington insider, Nikki (Cara AnnMarie) and falls in love with her. Someone immortalizes their kiss and they appear all over TV. Now Liberty has to choose between her one true love and her career in politics, although she can have one in music, too.

nikki and liberty liberty's secret


Also, I enjoyed the presidential character, the Republican candidate a stereotypical copy of a fun George Bush.

liberty's secret

The best thing in this movie is the music. Andy Kirshner (writer/director/composer a professor of Music and Art & Design at the University of Michigan) and Debbie Williams have managed to create a beautiful musical with a sensitive story on a solid ground. Enjoyed the hilarious song “Girls Like Boys” – “Girls like picking roses, and boys like punching noses.”


Happy ending!!!

liberty s secret nikky and liberty




Watch it online


Gypsy 2017 – The great Naomi Watts shows many faces and a lesbian love

There are certain actresses that I expect to do what Naomi Watts has done in Gypsy, mainly to play a lesbian love affair or a lesbian character so realistic as she does, for she has “antecedents” – Mulholland Drive (2001)

mullholand drive Naomi Watts

“I asked her if she would diagnose Jean as having a disorder,” Rubin said. “But she said everybody falls on different spectrums of different disorders, and she didn’t think Jean was diagnosable, and I agree. This is not a story about a woman with a mental illness . . . we’re all capable of doing dark or bad things. Most people are not good or bad; they fall in the gray and do bad things. And showing women [on screen] who are always nurturing, good, or likable is not being honest.

“I used to believe that people determined their own lives. We were in control, commanding our futures,

choosing our spouses, picking professions,responsible for the decisions that shape the course of our lives. 

And yet, there is one force more powerful than free will. Our unconscious. Underneath the suits, behind closed doors, we’re all ruled by the same desires. And those desires can be raw and dark and deeply shameful.

The more you watch someone, the more you realize, we are never really who we say we are.

In fact, hidden underneath, there’s always a secret. We might actually be someone else.

The great Naomi Watts is  Jean Holloway, a therapist, mother, and loving wife to her husband, Michael (Billy Crudup) in Gypsy, the series follows as Jean creates the character of Diane, a single journalist whom she inhabits to unethically involve herself in the lives of her patients. Her transformation, the impetus of this unhinged act is a host of repressed sexual and professional yearnings that she indulges (along with much bourbon) as a distinctly troubling type of escapism creates an amazing piece of a character.

Naomi Watts Gypsy 2017

At first, her actions are explicitly tied to one patient: Sam (Karl Glusman), who is obsessed with Sidney (Sophie Cookson), his ex-girlfriend and a local bartender. In an early scene in one of their sessions, he describes being consumed by his desires for Sidney, being unable to think of anything but her and what she makes and made him feel. And what Jean seems to want in creating Diane is to feel that kind of passion for herself, as the day-to-day nuisances of play dates, other school mothers, her oft-rigid colleagues, and domestic duties have become the center of her existence. Her increasing dependence on alcohol is at once an enabling force and a reflection of what she seeks to feel when she begins to follow and flirt with Sidney.


Jean is working to solve the problems of her patients via extreme breaches in trust in an attempt to avoid confronting her own disquiet with the peaceful existence she’s built for herself. Watts, moving and nuanced as much in her silences as her speeches, is careful to not show Jean as completely indifferent to her marital life. She clearly cares about being a mother and a wife but she’s been feeling an impersonality toward her family, as well as her career, that has driven her toward more radical means of feeling noticed and desired. Watts makes the character a study in the neglected id returning to overtake the unending routines of professional and family life — the intimate impulse of wanting to destroy any semblance of personal stability. As such, one could even argue that Gypsy is a kind of horror series without the copious blood and outlandish violence.

The increasing lack of control that Jean feels and her impulsive seeking of satisfaction of any kind never comes through in Taylor-Johnson’s compositions or in Rubin’s dialogue. As such, we never quite get a handle on the pleasure, rush, and instability of what she’s doing, nor do we fully understand how that affects Michael or their daughter.


The danger in remaining professional is that one can also feel at a distance from the work and render one unable to find useful solutions to personal problems. For Jean, this leads to crippling frustration and an overwhelming feeling of uselessness, which pushes her toward the creation of Diane and the relationship she begins to build with Sidney. And by becoming personally involved in her patients’ lives, she denies them a crucial sense of control and freedom to speak without fear of being exploited, a situation that is primed for chaos that never quite came in the first four episodes but looks to be inevitably in the cards.


In essence, the series allows Rubin, Watts, and Taylor-Johnson to consider and criticize their own personal connections to their own work, employment that often requires them to be at a distance from their material to allow for producers and other interests to have their (mostly) appropriate say. And as all three chief creative forces behind Gypsy are women, there is an essential focus on how the simple fact of being a woman can drastically affect how you are criticized and managed by men. It’s an element that should have been pushed further throughout the run of Gypsy, which might have made for a great movie but settles as an engaging, wise series. Nevertheless, in a marketplace short on ambitious shows made by and for women, Gypsy finds fertile ground for an exploration of the chaotic impasse between roiling inner desires and the false yet requisite veneer of stability that society often calls for without knowing the real cost.

A must see Psychothriller with a glimpse of softness :

Sources :

Netflix  &


A kiss doesn’t lie by Robin Alexander


A truly beautiful adventure novel mixed with a sensual love story involving two intelligent and amazing women : Jodi Grant and Dr. Blair Whittington.

robin alexander a kiss doesn't lie

Jodi has a nice life as a real estate agent and a welcomed new romance coming her way when she is notified that her father, who has left her and her mother when she was young, has died. She goes to attend the funeral, just for her mother and to get rid of the last memories she had with him, as he was no role model, but „a thief, liar, and all-around asshole”. He knew nothing of his daughter as his archeological duties kept him on foreign lands and bewildered continents, especially South or Central America, manly Peru. He was searching the big hit, yet he deceived his family, his work and the ancestors, by turning artifacts into stolen goods for his own fortune.

At his funeral, Jodi is kidnapped by strangers that were looking for her father’s treasure. She is taken to the jungle of Peru to some mysterious archeologist whom happens to be a woman her father has deceived,  Dr. Blair Whittington.

Jodi was innocent and now in the arms of this Dr. Dr. Blair Whittington whom surely wanted revenge, yet at first sight, it seems that she understood that Jodi had no idea what this was all about.

nouveau-monde lesbian loverd

Brown eyes regarded her from beneath a black ball cap as Jodi wound up internally for the last tongue-lashing she was ever going to dole out. She planted a hand on her hip. “That’s right, I’m Jodi Grant, only daughter of the late Nicolas Grant, but I did not know him. I have no idea what he was up to when he was killed. I absolutely despise archaeology and don’t give a rat’s fuzzy ass about long dead cultures. If they were anything special, they’d still be around. And if I weren’t surrounded by guns, I’d kick the shit out of you for dragging me into what is so obviously a hellhole. So, Dr. Whittingham, that should answer all the questions you have for me.”

“It’s Dr. Blair Whittington.” She pushed the chair on the opposite of the table with her foot. “Have a seat.”

Ant shoved Jodi toward it where she sat begrudgingly.”

elena undone

Dr. Blair Whittington was a true archaeologist, her mother was famous for discovering a Peruvian treasure and she wanted so much to follow her mother’s steps and put all she had, her heart and her soul into archeology, leaving her love life on hold,  yet has fallen into the wrong hands  of  Dr. Grant, as she was an innocent, a beginner and he took advantage of all these and dragged her name into this muddy business of his, as her partner archeologist, Tad, underlined :

“Your father found and hid artifacts from a culture that has been traced as far back as 750 AD. Instead of turning over the find to the authorities of Peru, he went back to the States and found someone willing to purchase the antiquities illegally. Someone who has enough money and swing to smuggle priceless relics out of the country.”

“I’m a colleague of your mother’s. Her work on Incan culture captivated and inspired me. Carmen Whittington is one of the most respected archaeologists I’ve ever known.”

“She was, yes,” Blair said as the polite smile slipped from her face.

“Has she passed on?” Nicolas asked with great disappointment. “I’ve been out of the country.”

“A year ago. I’ve donated all her writings to the university, so if you need to see her notes, you’ll have to make an inquiry of the dean.”

Nicolas clasped Blair’s arm as she turned to go. “I’m so very sorry for your loss…but actually, it’s you I wanted to talk to. May I have just a few minutes of your time over a cup of coffee?”


Blair had to save her reputation and find dr.Grant’s artifacts, keep everyone alive, as Jason as his wife took care of their safety, yet she has never expected her attraction towards Jodi, as she knew Jodi’s love preferences, as dr. Grant has told Blair. Dr. Grant has left a diary with hidden clues only Jodi could find and describe as a map to follow the goal, the Peruvian artifacts.

In this wild  environment, when water was rare, hotness was all over, bullets and enemies surrounded them, Blair and Jodi fall for one another, against all odds, in the search of the artifacts, Blair not convinced but after a while of Jodi’s innocence, now, fears that she won’t be able to protect Jodi and to solve the whole situation with the local authorities and the enemy who was following them from the shadows as he wanted the artifacts for himself, possibly, dr. Grant’s initial buyer from the States.


Blair leaned her head back and stared up at a full moon that seemed so close she could simply reach out and touch it. Jodi’s proximity drew her thoughts away from their lack of supplies and Jason’s motives. It had been a long time since someone slept next to her, too long to ponder. And frankly, on her list of priorities, it didn’t place, but there she was gazing down at the head on her lap.

Tad had made her sound like a virgin, and she was certainly not…unless the statute of limitations ran out on such a thing. After a few dalliances in college, it was confirmed that she had no desire for men whatsoever. She’d never cared for boys in high school, so it came as no big surprise that the only person who had ever stirred anything within her was a woman with whom she had a brief affair. But that had not compelled her to look further.

Blair had not enjoyed making calls that were never returned. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and she decided that love and romance were not worth the pursuit. Her mother often quoted the old adage “you just haven’t met the right one.” Blair refused to look or hope. She ignored it all, then it didn’t seem so…important.

Tad’s earlier comment about her and Jodi making a good pair jolted her. She’d mentally agreed before she ever considered what that meant. For all intents and purposes, she had no idea who Jodi Grant really was. She’d spent more time with Nicolas and didn’t know him, either, until he put a figurative knife in her back and had the audacity to die before she could return the favor.

Blair began to catalog everything she knew about Jodi to dispel the mental haze she’d felt since overhearing their conversation. Jodi was…attractive, intelligent, brave, though she didn’t realize it herself. What else? Blair wondered as she looked at the wild mass of dark hair splayed out over her thigh. Feisty, stubborn, distrusting…Blair groaned and looked back up at the moon. She’d just described herself.”


Blair isn’t sure of her own sexuality, as she has never gave it a real thought, as none was on her loving stage until now. But, in the depths of her soul, she knew her attraction to women was real, obvious and incredibly satisfying.


Jodi glanced at Blair’s face as she medicated and cleaned the wound. She grimaced but made no sound. She did whimper slightly when Jodi moved her arm to put on a fresh undershirt. “She’s dressed, Tad. Would you spread out our sleeping bags?”

Tad turned and kissed Blair on top of the head and smiled down at her. “Mom always said a kiss makes it better.” He grinned at Jodi. “I’m sure you’d rather have that kiss come from someone else.” He walked off to spread out the bags, and Jodi swatted him on the leg.

“He’s right,” Blair said groggily with a half-grin.

Jodi glanced over to where Jason was sleeping. Raul was reading the original letters. Jodi leaned in and brushed her lips against Blair’s. The kiss was brief but enough to make Blair open her eyes wide.

“I hope you meant me.” Jodi stood, breaking eye contact with Blair.

“I did,” Blair said barely above a whisper as Jodi pulled her to her feet. Tad joined them and walked Blair over to the bags. He removed her boots as Jodi took off her own overshirt and padded Blair’s shoulder.

“I’ll keep watch,” Tad said. “You two get some rest.”

“That’s really not necessary. What we’ve been watching for has found us.” Jodi touched Tad’s arm. “Sleep if you can. No heroics. They’re armed and we’re not.” Tad nodded reluctantly, and Jodi knew then what he’d been plotting. “I’m not going out without a fight, either. We’ll come up with something.”

They had lain Blair with her injured side near the wall. Jodi fished a clean shirt from her bag and covered Blair’s shoulders with it. She lay next to Blair and put a hand on her hip. “I’m here if you need me,” she said and closed her eyes.

Blair’s response came a few minutes later. “I know.””


Their lovemaking involves passion, danger, foreign lands and a whole lots of edging daring of trust.

 a lesbian kiss doesnt lie

“Blair steeled herself for the shock and stepped out from the shelter. The rain was coming down so hard it stung when it hit her shoulder.

Jodi turned slowly. Her gaze started at Blair’s eyes and roamed over every inch of her body. When she met Blair’s eyes again, she smiled. “Well, it seems I’ve lied.”

“Strike one.” Blair tried to keep the smile from slipping from her face.

“You’re going to need help washing your hair and face. You can barely raise that arm as it is.”

The thought of being naked and so very close to Jodi with her hands on her body nearly killed Blair. She stood stock-still as Jodi massaged her scalp and lathered her hair with the soap. Blair was thankful that her eyes were closed as Jodi lathered her face. If she were to look into those eyes once more, what little control she had would slip away with the rain pelting her body.

“Rinse for a minute. I’ll wash my hair and face, then we’ll do the….rest.”

Blair lifted her face to the sky and let the rain wash away the lather. The pain in her shoulder was muted by the lust she felt at that moment. She’d known arousal but not like this. When she dared to open her eyes, Jodi’s head was tipped back. Her hands worked the soap from her hair, and Blair found herself unable to stop from taking in everything displayed before her.

“You’re beautiful.” The words slipped past Blair’s lips when Jodi looked at her.

“You’re peeking.”

“I’d say I was sorry, but that would be a lie.”

Jodi’s expression was serious. “You’re wrecking me. This is not the time or the place, but I want you.”

Blair went weak at the timbre of her voice and the look in her eye that confirmed the words Jodi was speaking. She inhaled sharply when Jodi walked over and laid her fingers on her shoulder.

“I need to get this off.” Jodi began tugging at the tape. The pain was sharp, and Blair grabbed her waist to steady herself. “I’m so sorry. I know it hurts,” Jodi said softly. “The gauze is sticking.”

Unable to speak, Blair held on as Jodi peeled the gauze from her torn skin and began to soap it. Rain pounded into the gashes and stole her breath away. Jodi washed Blair’s hand and laid it over the wound. “Keep that there and I’ll do the rest,” Jodi’s voice was tremulous as she spoke.

Pain began to recede again as Jodi ran the soap over Blair’s stomach. Her touch burned like fire as she moved them over Blair’s chest, then finally across her breasts. Both women inhaled sharply. Jodi moved around Blair as she washed her ribs and back. Blair marveled that even having her armpits washed was the most sensual thing she’d ever encountered.

Jodi moved in front of her again, her hands never leaving Blair’s body. “If you say stop, I’ll stop.”

Blair shook her head slowly without hesitation. Injury forgotten, she gripped Jodi’s shoulders as she ran the soap and her fingers between her legs. The muscles in Jodi’s shoulders bunched and danced beneath Blair’s fingertips. Their breath came out in gasps. “Blair.” Jodi sounded miserable as her hands moved through the wetness. With a groan, she knelt and washed Blair’s legs and feet.

Jodi stood and took a step back. Her neck, chest, and face were flushed as she began to soap her body. Blair was rooted to the spot, unable to turn away. She watched with pain and envy as Jodi soaped herself, hesitating only slightly before running her hands between her own legs. When she was done, she dropped 

the bar of soap and stared back at Blair with a want so intense Blair felt like it scorched her skin.

Jodi wiped the rain from her face with both hands. When she opened her eyes, she said, “I think you should go dry off. I need to stay out here for a minute or two.”

She was giving Blair an out. It was Blair’s decision alone. Desire so clearly showed on Jodi’s face.

“Come to me,” Blair said only once, and Jodi was there. Jodi’s touch was tender, her kiss bruising and wild. The heat of her body and the rain on Blair’s back was an intoxicating combination. She could not get close enough, her kiss deep enough to satisfy.

Jodi broke the kiss and pressed her face against Blair’s. “This is crazy. What are we doing?”

“Living in the moment or just living.” Blair took Jodi’s hand.


They were dripping wet when Jodi spread the only dry sleeping bag they had out on the ground. Rain splattered against the rocks and bounced into their refuge. Jodi looked at Blair’s shoulder as she sat. “I need to bandage that.”

“Let it breathe.” Blair reached out her hand and Jodi took it, allowed herself to be drawn down. Blair’s deep kiss burned hot. Jodi felt a hand in the center of her chest, urging her onto her back.

“I’m afraid you can’t be the leader tonight,” Jodi said when she broke the kiss. “Tonight, you follow me, and when you’re mended, I’ll follow you.”

“I’ve never been a follower.” Blair bit her lip when Jodi lowered her to the ground.

“Your shoulder isn’t going to allow you to do anything.” Jodi lowered herself onto Blair’s body and kissed her neck, letting her teeth graze across soft skin. “Give yourself to me, Blair, and when the time is right, I’ll give myself to you.” Without giving Blair an opportunity to reply, Jodi covered her mouth with her own. Blair responded to the kiss with equal fervor. Her hand wove into Jodi’s hair and pulled her tighter against her mouth.

Jodi shuddered when she felt Blair’s legs wrap around her own. She’d fantasized and wondered if this moment would ever truly play out. Reality was so much better than the fantasy, but Blair was more of a participant than she had even imagined. Jodi pulled away, eager to feel Blair’s body beneath her mouth. Her lips grazed smooth skin before taking a rigid nipple into her mouth. Blair arched as the fingers of her good hand dug into the skin of Jodi’s back, stoking the fire higher.

Rain pounded all around them, drowning out whispered words, but Jodi could hear Blair’s labored breathing, feel Blair’s chest and stomach heaving against her face. There would be no teasing or delaying of the inevitable. Jodi slid down and buried her face between Blair’s legs, tasting her and thrilling at the feel of her against her tongue. Blair urged her on with a hand wrapped in her hair, but Jodi slowed, determined to enjoy the gift as long as she could stand it. Slow languid strokes weren’t enough. Blair was saying something Jodi couldn’t hear, but her meaning was clear by the way she moved her hips. Jodi answered and felt Blair’s body go rigid. It was over too soon.

The orgasm was intense and for a moment cooled the flame that burned in Blair. She wanted more of Jodi, wanted to be inside of her, taste her, connect. Sex had always satisfied an immediate need, but this—this was something she’d never known. Blair tugged as gently as she could, and Jodi complied, moving up and settling her body against hers. Their mouths met, and at the same time, she felt Jodi’s heat against her. Blair arched her hips, pressing into Jodi as far as their bodies would allow. She gasped against her mouth, and Blair knew she had her.

Jodi met her thrust for thrust, and Blair felt her wetness merge with her own. Jodi struggled to keep her shoulder away from Blair’s injured one. Blair pulled her tighter, the pain an afterthought far behind the need she felt to have Jodi completely. She gritted her teeth as Jodi’s body tensed, held her with her arms and legs as Jodi jerked and shuddered, crying out against her ear. Blair clamped her eyes shut, taking the feelings and the sounds deep into the recesses of her mind. If this was all she was to have, she’d remember it until she drew her last breath.

Jodi went limp and gasped against her ear. Blair held on to her to keep her from moving away. That night, they would sleep entwined. No one would stand watch over them, and if their enemies came, they’d go together just like this.“


When they find the Peruvian artifacts, dr. Grant’s treasure, it’s obvious they will take one clue and go to the authorities who won’t believe them as they were foreigners and Tad was missing. Blair’s brother came to help, as they were a wealthy family, they could afford a big team of lawyers. Yet, the turning point is the fact they will be separated, as Jodi is off charges as she was proven to have been kidnapped in the States and has never traveled outside the US and goes back to the States and Blair had to stay in Peru to prove her innocence and her good faith in discovering the artifacts and clear her name, her mother’s legacy.

And after all this, the pain of separation, the self discovery, the missing and realizing love is more important than anything, they will find the only one road they could walk, the lifetime they could walk together entangled in what a kiss says.

 lesbian kiss

And they wanted to know all about Dr. Whittington, but what Jodi knew about the famous doctor, she kept to herself. She knew the woman who had become some fabled character as a tireless lover who had a birthmark above her left breast. Whose kisses left her breathless. That’s all she thought of when she heard the name Dr. Blair Whittington.

“Ms. Grant, what do you plan to do now?”

A slight smile passed over her face. “I have a brand new pair of snow boots. I’m looking forward to having an opportunity to use them. That’s all I have to say at this time.”

“She cut her hair,” Blair said aloud as she dropped onto the bed. And Jodi had sent a message—she was waiting on her to get home. Nothing had changed. Blair switched off the TV and burrowed down into the bed. She would surrender to the pull of the sleeping pill, and the next day, she would be sharp.


“Blair didn’t object to the plan, though Jodi expected her to. Instead she turned and brushed her lips with a quick kiss and motioned Tad to move on. Blair looked into Jodi’s eyes as Tad started up the stairs. Something in their dark depths confused her, but she had faith. Blair had made a promise in her kiss. She didn’t argue as Blair motioned for her to follow Tad.“


„Jodi smiled and kissed her. The brief soft touching of lips said more to Blair than Jodi could voice. Had Jodi clung to her and kissed her with all the passion Blair had already felt, then she’d know that Jodi was afraid they might not have another opportunity. This simple brush of affection gently whispered, We’ll be fine. “A kiss says a lot, you know.”

Jodi cocked her head. “Yes, I do. I thought I was the only one that believed that way. What did my kiss say to you?”


twomaidens pompeii

Awol – 2017 lesbian movie

The Australian drama „Awol” tells the story of a young woman named Johanna „Joey”, aged around 18 or 19 years old,   played by Lola Kirke. She is at the crossroads of life just after her teenage years, just finishing highschool and in search of direction in her small town just like her grandmother would wish.



A visit to an army recruiting office appears to provide a path, but when she meets and falls in love with  27 years old Rayna played by Breeda Wool, that path diverges in ways that neither woman anticipates. Rayna is married of convenience with a truckdriver and has children,yet her passion for Joey amazes her and makes her want a whole new life with her lover, yet still she doesn`t want to ruin her young lover`s future.

awol rayna-4


The love they live makes them forget parts of their commitments : Rayna`s for her children and Joey`s for the army and they leave the Appalachia small town for Canada.

Loved the rural theme and how souls are divided in between earth, poverty, love and guilt of social commitment.

joey and rayna awol

A new breath on the lesbian movie small and  big screens. How will it end? Just watch it !

Awool - Wool-and-Kirke


AWOL — which has been honored by the Kansas City LGBT Film Festival, qFLIX Philadelphia, and the North Carolina Gay & Lesbian Film Festival — got its start as a short film at Sundance in 2011. At a Q&A after the feature-length film’s world premiere at the Tribeca this spring, Deb Shoval noted that AWOL, which is an indulgent yet brief 80 minutes, took an arduous four years to make.

awol 2017

The movie was directed by Deb Shoval, making her feature directorial debut by adapting her own short film of the same name. The screenplay was written by  and Deb Shoval.

Trailer :

Sources :


Spring fire by Vin Packer

“Spring fire“ is the first lesbian paperback novel that first appeared in 1952 and sold an amazing 1.5 million copies. It launched the genre of lesbian novels and the career of Vin Packer, pseudonym for prolific author Marijane Meaker.

Being the first lesbian novel pulp fiction of the genre, it made me kind of sad that the author couldn’t actually choose the destiny of the characters and that was also forced to put two very beautiful and almost naked women on the cover as it would sell and also, no happy ending, do not promote lesbianism and one of them should decide she is no lesbian and the other is supposed to be sick or crazy.

In the new introduction of the book, the author remembers how this book was published and which conditions she was asked by the publisher :

“You might have a good story there“, Dick said, “but you`d have to do two things. The girls would have to be in college, not boarding school. And, you cannot make homosexuality attractive. No happy ending“

“In other words, my heroine has to decide she’s really not queer“

“That’s it. And the one she’s involved with is sick or crazy.“

And the title is chosen to create confusion and sell better.

“I want to call it Spring Fire, Dick said.

What? What does that even mean?

It means there’s a big seller by James Michener called The Fires Of Spring, and we might pick up a few readers who confuse the titles.“


“Spring fire“ is the typical sorority love story, but this time between two girls : Susan Mitchel (“Mitch“), the butch style freshman, and Leda Taylor , the queen of Tri Ep sorority. They are supposed to date fraternity guys and Leda does date Jake.

Mitch is accepted by the sorority only because her father is rich and she will bring the sorority sisters fame and the so much desired silvery, yet in Leda’s eyes there is so much more, and it’s actually Leda who corrupts Mitch and the foolish girl falls in love with her, yet Leda cannot accept the term nor the life as a lesbian couple.

“Don’t,” Leda said, her arm catching the girl’s waist. Mitch turned on her side, facing Leda, feeling the hand rub her back. It was quiet and warm. Leda moved her hand forward and ran her fingers lightly over the buttons on Mitch’s pajama top. Then, gently, she slipped the round, plastic buttons from their loops, leaving the coat open. Almost as if Mitch knew what would follow, she held the top of the sheet back while Leda moved down and lightly kissed Mitch’s breasts. A soft sigh broke free from Mitch’s throat and evolved into a plaintive cry. Leda pulled herself up and her lips found Mitch’s and crushed them, burning and moist.

“Mitch,” Leda whispered, and they held each other fast and hard. “Mitch.”


Leda was not a man, and yet, when she had awakened her, Mitch turned to her and they were not friends then, but lovers. Mitch became separate as a person at last. She was not separate from Leda, but individual and one. She was wanted and she wanted, and it was not a want striped with fear and hurt It was a fragile want to be nurtured and cared for, as Leda had then in bed.

“I never kissed a girl,” Leda had said afterward. “I’m sorry I did it to you, kid.”

There was something wrong and ill in the two of them then like that, Mitch knew, but what? When she was a child, near the dam where she had gone with her father, on the worn lead pipe there were words written and she had said, “What do they mean?” They were bad words, he explained, and there was that about his explanation that made her feel guilty, as though she had taken the white chalk and put the words there. Leda was sorry, so she knew what was wrong.

 Like you’ve been doing, Mitch. I couldn’t love you if you were a Lesbian.”

“I’m not,” Mitch said, wondering what the word meant “I’m not. I—I just haven’t met a man yet who makes me feel the way you do.”

“Maybe you don’t give them a chance,” Leda answered. “Come on now. Let’s go to bed. God, it’s three-thirty.”

They tiptoed up the back steps and down the quiet, dimly lighted hall to their room. Leda pulled the covers back and fell into her bed. She murmured a tired good night, and her eyes closed and her breathing came heavily. Mitch did not sleep. She lay tossing about on her bed across from Leda, her mind running through the incidents of the evening to review them and examine them. There was only a fragmentary edge left to the sensuous memory of her loving Leda, and looming now in a sick foreground there was this word.

Slowly Mitch got up and went to the bookshelf, taking from it the blue book, and leafing through it, holding it near the flash that Leda had left on the desk.

Les’bian (lezTrian) adj. 1. Of or pertaining to Lesbos (now Mytilene), one of the Aegean Islands. 2. Erotic;—in allusion to the reputed sensuality of the people of Lesbos.

Mitch closed the book and stood staring at the bare light of the street lamp in front of Epsilon Epsilon Epsilon. She could hear Leda’s breath coming slower now and more evenly, in deep sleep, and the dictionary had told her nothing.

The female homosexual, the Lesbian, often preys on girls who are not true homosexuals. Such girls may enjoy men, and be capable of normal heterosexual life if they do not become involved with a genuine Lesbian type, whose technique is often more skillful than that of many of her young men suitors.”

Men come first with me.

Maybe it was natural.

“A normal man finds sex with this type of woman extremely difficult if not impossible.”

I can’t.

No, I just can’t!

“Many times, under the proper circumstances, a female homosexual may learn to control, if not eliminate, her active homosexual tendencies once she is removed from an environment where the temptation is great In the case of…”“


Mitch has encounters with Jake’s fraternity brother Bud, yet she doesn’t go further with him and she has an incident, because the big guy feels hurt in his ego by her rejection and creates a whole mess and a little scandal to force Mitch to at least date him, yet Mitch loves Leda, declares it to her and even writes her a letter that will be her doom.

Dear Leda,

This letter is for you alone. Please tear it up when you are through.

More than anything else I want you to understand what I’m going to say here, and why I’m saying it. I want to leave the sorority and become an independent.

Maybe it’ll be the best thing for me, and maybe it’ll be just another defeat, but I have to do it. Leda, darling, you know that I love you. You know it, even though I haven’t shown it in the past few days. I’ve been worried and afraid, and now I know for sure what’s wrong with me. I suppose I should go to a doctor, but I don’t have the nerve, and I’m going to try to help myself as best I can.

Lesbian is an ugly word and I hate it. But that’s what I am, Leda, and my feelings toward you are homosexual. I had no business to ask you to stop seeing Jake, to try to turn you into what I am, but please believe me, I didn’t know myself what I was doing. I guess I’m young and stupid and naive about life, and I know that you warned me about the direction my life was taking when you told me to get to know men. I tried, Leda. But it was awful. Even Charlie knows what I am now. I think that if I go to an independent house, away from you, the only person I love, I’ll be able to forget some of the temptation. If I stay in the sorority, I’ll only make you unhappy and hurt you. I love you too much to do that

Please announce that I am leaving during the chapter meeting tonight Don’t tell them why, please, because I want to straighten myself out and I don’t want people to know. Tell them that I thank them for all they’ve done, but that I’d rather live somewhere else because I don’t fit in here.

I know how you’ll feel about me after reading this. I’ll try to stay out of your way. Tonight I am going to eat dinner downtown, and then during chapter meeting I’ll pack most of my things and move to the hotel until I get a room at the dorm. Robin Maurer is going to help me.

There’s nothing else to say but good-by, I’m sorry, and I do love you, Leda.



She will meet other great guys that are not fraternity affiliates, Charlie and Lucifer, yet she cannot physically nor mentally love them, she understands her attraction for women and her love for Leda. Their lovemaking, their jealousy are normal states of mind and couple, yet back then they seemed surreal.

Leda continues a loveless life dating sorority guy until the accident where she’s badly injured and in that trauma she speaks words she shouldn’t have and her sorority sisters understand that she is the one that corrupted Mitch into lesbianism, as they couldn’t conceive the fact that it can be consented and,  as they have caught Mitch and Leda together and Mitch was the attacker and Leda was considered the victim as she betrayed Mitch, by showing everyone Mitch’s love letter to her.

mitch and ledajpg

“”Maybe I’m trying to prove something to myself. Part of me is trying to say that I’m not what I am. That’s the part of me that everyone knows—the alluring Leda, the queen, Jan’s daughter, an apple never falls far from the tree. Out with Jake every damn day to keep myself away from what I really am. Want to know what sex with him is like? It’s like dry bread, that’s what it’s like. Like dry bread!”

Leda got up from the bed and reached for her cigarettes on the desk. She felt relieved, cleansed, as though her mind had been emptied and she was free. She walked over to the suitcase on Mitch’s bed and picked up the clothing, taking it in her arms to the drawer. “You want this all put back, don’t you?” she said to Mitch. “You won’t leave me?”

“No,” Mitch said. “I’m going. Robin arranged everything, and—oh, Leda!” They stood in the center of the room holding one another, their lips fastened hard, their arms strong around each other. Leda’s hand reached for the buttons on Mitch’s blouse.

“Just stand still,” she said. “Just let me take everything off and look at you. I want to look at you.”

The skirt fell to the floor, and the blouse. Mitch stepped out of her shoes and stood before Leda.

“I want to love you,” Leda said.

Her hands stroked Mitch’s body gently. She leaned over to kiss her lips and her forehead and the closed eyelids. She said her name and held her, feeling the fast beat in her pulse and knowing that she had almost lost her.

The blood beat furiously in Mitch’s throat and she could feel a mounting strength in her legs and arms. With the arrogance of a master, Mitch’s nails dug into Leda’s flesh as she began to pull the sweater and the thin blouse from her shoulders.

Leda’s gasp was one of pleasure and desire and it moved Mitch to more violence, pinning Leda’s wrists behind her back and jerking at her skirt.

Neither of them heard the door open.


Marsha leaned in the window. Leda’s lips were parted, and the blood had run down by her nose. Her eyes were closed. She kept mumbling. They were able to make the mumbling out gradually as it became clearer. “Mitch,” she was saying. “Mitch, honey. Oh, God, Mitch, honey, what did I do to you?”

“She feels bad about Susan Mitchell,” Kitten said.

They listened to Leda as she said more. “I want you, Mitch. Kiss me! It’s going to be all right again. God, Mitch, love me.”

Marsha and Kitten looked at each other with horror-stricken faces.

Kitten said, “Did you hear what I heard?” and the mumbling kept on.


Now, she’s considered sick and crazy and Mitch needs to heal and gets out of the sorority with Robin’s help, her new independent bedroom colleague.

In the end, the whole love story was a mistake and Mitch realizes she has never loved Leda, just as the publisher has asked.


“ “You’re right,” Dr. Peters agreed. “It’s a big job, too. I don’t know, Ruth. Today I wondered if all our youth hadn’t suddenly turned shallow and callous—after the girls left the hospital and I watched them walk away laughing and chatting like magpies. I wondered where the dignity of youth was nowadays. Well, at any rate, it looks like Susan will have a chance. Leda is another matter. She wants to see Susan—and that’s what I came over about. I’d like to arrange a meeting between the two of them tonight.”

“Is that wise, Ted?”

“I’ve talked to Susan, and I think I know her well enough now to be sure that it’ll be very wise in her case. It’s cruel to ask her to witness the fallen Leda, and yet, perhaps it’s the only way to prove to her once and for all how very sick Leda is and was. The mental sickness is becoming more pronounced than the physical. That wreck didn’t really injure Leda. It awoke her. The neuroses that was growing in her subconscious mind suddenly came to grips with the conscious mind at the time of the wreck. The impact of that meeting is what she can’t bridge. She knows her two selves now, and she can’t assimilate them. It’s very serious, Ruth, and I’m counting on her seeing Susan to help.”

The phone was on the desk, and Dean Paterson reached for it, hesitating a moment before she remembered the number of the dorm where Susan Mitchell was living.

* * *

Mitch finished hanging up the last dress and turned to look at the room in Main Dorm where she had moved. The boxes were empty, and the suitcase had been shoved under the bed by the wall. Robin sat limp in the chair near the desk, her short legs relaxed in front of her, her arms hanging down at the side. “Finally!” she sighed. “I thought we’d never finish.”

“You were wonderful to help, Robin.” “I’d help anyone out of that kind of hell. You should have done it months ago.”

“I guess so,” Mitch agreed. She sat on the bed and flicked the radio on, waiting for it to warm up.

“You know,” Robin said, “Monday night after you didn’t show up here, I thought you’d weakened and changed your mind.”

Mitch got a station that was playing waltz music. She fixed the tone so it was not too loud, and didn’t answer Robin. The Dean had warned her that it would be hard. People would want to know why she had moved out of the sorority.

“Anything new on Leda?”

The question jarred Mitch. She had heard from Dr. Peters that Leda had called for her at the wreck, that she had said all those things about her, crying out her love before she came to in the hospital. Half of Mitch remembered Leda with the raven-colored hair and the keen, delicate hands, the jade eyes and the soft words, but even in that half there was a tinge of bitter irony in Mitch’s memory, flowing into the other half of the remembered Leda. The half that had betrayed her.

“I know you must be worried,” Robin continued. “I never trusted her, myself. There was something about her. But I know you like her.”

“You have to know her,” Mitch said, hoping the dull edge on her words was not obvious to Robin.

“She knew that if it had been any other way—if Leda Taylor could have been helped, and could have at that moment walked there too and known the peace in the twilight and the first hints of frost on the grass and bushes surrounding Cranston—Mitch would have wanted that. Because it was true what she had told Leda yesterday. She didn’t hate her. She didn’t hate her at all, and she knew then that she had never really loved her.

The End“

vintage lesbians


And the whole picture of the Era :

In the early 1950s new subgenres emerged—science fiction, lesbian fiction, juvenile delinquent and “sleaze”, for instance—that would tantalize readers with gritty, realistic and lurid stories never seen before. Publishers had come to realize that sex sells. In a competitive frenzy for readers, they tossed away their staid and straightforward cover images for alluring covers that frequently featured a sexy woman in some form of undress, along with a suggestive tag line that promised stories of sex and violence within the covers. Before long, books with sensational covers had completely taken over the paperback racks and cash registers. To this day, the cover art of these vintage paperback books are just as sought after as the books themselves were sixty years ago.

With the birth of the lesbian-themed pulp novel, women who loved women would finally see themselves—their experiences and their lives—represented within the pages of a book. They finally had a literature they could call their own. Of course, that’s not what the publishers of the day intended – these books were written primarily for men… indeed shamelessly packaged and published to titillate the male reading public.

Many of the books were written by men using female pseudonyms and were illustrated by cover artists who never read the content between the covers. However, a good percentage (primarily titles from Fawcett’s Gold Medal Books imprint) were written by women, most of whom were lesbians themselves. For lesbians across the country, especially those living isolated lives in small towns, these books provided a sense of community they never knew existed… a connection to women who experienced the same longings, feelings and fears as they did—the powerful knowledge that they were not alone.


“Focul de primăvară” este primul roman tipărit de lesbiene care a apărut pentru prima dată în 1952 și a vândut un uimitor 1,5 milioane de exemplare. A lansat genul de romane lesbiene și cariera lui Vin Packer, pseudonim pentru prolificul autor Marijane Meaker.

Fiind prima ficțiune de gen pentru genul de lesbiene, mi-a fost cam trist faptul că autorul nu a putut să aleagă destinul personajelor și că a fost forțat să pună pe copertă două femei foarte frumoase și aproape goale Vinde și, de asemenea, nici un sfârșit fericit, nu promovează lesbianismul și unul dintre ei ar trebui să decidă că nu este lesbiană, iar cealaltă ar trebui să fie bolnavă sau nebună.

În noua introducere a cărții, autorul își amintește cum a fost publicată această carte și în ce condiții ea a fost solicitată de către editor:

Mitch se întâlnește cu fratele fraternității Bud al lui Jake, totuși nu merge mai departe cu el și are un incident, pentru că tipul cel mare se simte rănit în ego-ul său prin respingerea ei și creează o mizerie întreagă și un mic scandal pentru a forța pe Mitch să Cel puțin să-l întâlnească, dar Mitch îl iubește pe Leda, o declară la ea și chiar îi scrie o scrisoare care va fi disprețul ei.

Se va întâlni cu alți tipi grozavi care nu sunt afiliați ai fraternității, Charlie și Lucifer, dar nu le poate iubi fizic și mental, înțelege atracția pentru femei și dragostea ei pentru Leda. Iubirea lor, gelozia lor sunt stări normale ale minții și cuplului, dar de atunci păreau suprarealiste.

Leda continuă o viață fără iubire in care se întâlnește cu tipul de sororitate până la accidentul în care este rănită grav, iar în trauma respectivă vorbește cuvinte pe care ea nu ar trebui să le spună și surorile ei de sororire înțeleg că ea este cea care a corupt-o pe Mitch în lesbianism, iar faptul că  poate fi iubire consimțită și că le-au prins-o pe Mitch și Leda împreună, iar Mitch a fost atacatorul, iar Leda a fost considerată victima atunci când a trădat-o pe Mitch, arătându-i fiecărei scrisori de dragoste lui Mitch.

Marsha se aplecă pe fereastră. Buzele Leda erau despărțite și sângele îi fugise de nas. Ochii ei erau închise. Continuă să mormăie. Ei au reușit să facă mișcarea treptat, pe măsură ce devine mai clară. – Mitch, spunea ea. – Mitch, dragă … Oh, Doamne, Mitch, dragă, ce ți-am făcut?

– Se simte rău în legătură cu Susan Mitchell, spuse Kitten.

Ele au ascultat-o ​​pe Leda, când a spus mai mult. “Te vreau, Mitch, sărută-mă, va fi din nou în regulă, Dumnezeule, Mitch, iubește- mă”.

Marsha și Kitten se priveau una pe celălaltă cu chipuri groaznice.

Kitten spuse: – Ai auzit ce am auzit? Și mormăitul a continuat

Acum, ea este considerată bolnavă și nebună și Mitch trebuie să se vindece și să iasă din sororitate cu ajutorul lui Robin, noua sa colegă din dormitoroarele independente.

În cele din urmă, întreaga poveste de dragoste a fost o greșeală și Mitch realizează că nu a iubit-o niciodată pe Leda, așa cum a cerut editorul.

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