How does it feel for a young woman to love women – being a lesbian

It is so easy to describe the feeling I have felt, that it even makes me laugh : it feels right to love another woman, it actually feels perfect and I felt fulfilled with the most beautiful feeling I ever head with butterflies in my stomach and head in the clouds seeing matting seahorses.

After feeling absolutely fabulous and sublime, there comes confusion, especially at a young age when you’re supposed to dream about boys, yet you have a fantasy about your teacher, your best friend or your mother’s friend. A young girl, especially if she hasn’t got someone to talk to that has experienced the same things, can easily feel bad and wrong about her feelings and often tries to be with boys to prove she’s straight. If she’s not, she can go on or she changes her mind and experiences many types of loving a woman until she finds the right one that corresponds to her love or just loves her first.

“I had always been attracted to girls. I remember having crushes [on girls] since the third grade though I didn’t consider myself a lesbian. In the third grade, I didn’t even know what a lesbian was. It didn’t dawn on me until the seventh grade that… hey, I’m a lesbian.”
Kristine, Michigan, age 16

“Well, knowing was never the question. It was accepting it that was [the question]. I started being attracted to girls at age seven, so I knew that I wasn’t straight. It just took me a while to say to myself, I’m a lesbian and I’m okay. “
Lenore, Illinois, age 16

Then, it’s when a young woman confesses to straight people : mother, sister, best friend, teacher and they believe it’s just a phase and she’ll get over it, maybe if she tries it with a man. That’s worse, because if she’s gay, she will face a dreadful experience just to be accepted by the surrounding people, she’s not herself and her character it’s not the one of an adult and can be easily manipulated. Some will accept it, some won’t, but in time they see that despite your coming out of the closet, you’re a normal person, the same person you were before, to them, and now free for your true self.

“Difficult—some days I don’t want to be gay. But, I just love women too much to ever dream of hiding it again.”
Red, Australia, age 20

“I used to be confused by that part of my personality; but, through time, it became a very important and precious part [of me]. It is hard to deal with other people, but at least I’m not lying and that makes me feel good. I have a right to be who I am, and I am willing to fight for it. This is not to say that it s been easy, because at times it s unbearable, but if I could change my sexual orientation, I would not.”
Jessie, New York, age 16

The worst part is if someone in their family really hates gay people and consider it a disease. Unfortunately, that can ruin a young woman’s heart and if she’s not strong she can be very much affected. When in a family being normal is considered to be straight, it can effect your feelings and your belief in what you feel, but they come from people that can see beyond the borders set by society and only you can change them, because if it happens to them maybe they will start to think about it as part of the normal and yes you’re normal. You can choose whom to love, not anybody else.

“People tend to focus on the sex part of homosexuality … that’s what they picture. They don’t understand that there is love involved, too. Whoever you fall in love with, that is normal sexuality. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.”
Kristine, Michigan, age 16

“Normal is different for every individual. I cannot dictate someone else’s life, body, or anything else by my standards. I tend to laugh at people who are close-minded. Also, I speak up in school when anyone makes the slightest homophobic comment.”
Rachel, Maryland, age 17

After all these, the hardest part is to accept your true nature, even though others don’t, they will accept eventually at some point. But, as a young woman in a straight society, you must know yourself and learn to trust your heart and your mind and your instinct,accept and understand you’re a woman that loves women, you don’t have to sacrifice what you feel or what you can have with a woman, because that would make your family unhappy or if that will affect your current job position. It’s a part of your self esteem and in time you can learn that it comes from inside of you not from others , but from you and so you will inspire others.

“Talking to someone is the best help that I found. It makes you feel less alone. Movies, books, and web sites are helpful when there’s no one to ask about stuff or when you’re feeling down or embarrassed to talk about something. I use a gay and lesbian chat room; it helps me find people to talk to.”
Red, Australia, age 20

“It helps to learn to look inside yourself and to see that the gay part of your personality exists together with, not separate from and not in spite of, all other parts of yourself. It helps to see how everything you do or are is somehow affected by your sexual orientation. I often look back on everything that’s happened and cannot imagine not being gay.”
Jessie, New York, age 16

‘When you feel confident, the best person to tell is the person that you believe will accept you and love you for who you are.”
Lenore, Oregon, age 16

“There’s never a definitely good time to tell a person because telling does reconstruct someone s view of you, liberal or not. So, it’s always a bit of a jolt to the person you inform. But, once you’ve gotten over that hump, then if they react positively, you re home free. It’s when they turn cold and don’t speak to you that you know they weren’t your friends to begin with.”
Rayne, Pennsylvania, age 17

This is what you are, you won’t be able to be free and love free, unless you understand your true nature and maybe talk and meet other lesbians or gay people will help to understand and learn from their experiences. It’s hard, but when you understand your freedom of will as freedom to love, think and have sexual liberty defines the truth of who you are, than yo will be able to feel fulfilled as a woman, as a human being, as a lesbian.

It can happen to meet the right woman after you have married a man, because you thought it right back then, have kids and a family secured your life, thought that being attracted to another woman it’s a phase and will pass and afterwards, after many years, you’re again attracted to women and one day you meet the right woman and fall irremediably and absolutely into her, and you it’s the love of your life, yes you’re normal, yes your kids will still love you and you have to follow your heart after so many years, seen that in so many ways, right or wrong, I don’t think so, it’s just that some women need more time and experiences and courage to aknowledge who they are and who they truly love.